Happy Memorial Day to each and every one of our readers.  I took a moment this morning of silent gratitude for those who served, are serving, or gave their lives in service.  We also honor the families have sent their men away to serve, or currently have voids in their families while men complete their service to our country.  Thank you never seems like enough…

The Stylish Planner and family fly the flag at our home in Georgia.  Because freedom isn’t free.

I wish all of the readers of The Stylish Planner a wonderful Easter weekend with your family and friends.  I’ll be back on Monday with our regularly scheduled posts.

Note from Jeannine:  Although I first became acquainted with Amy Rubins at Eventology 2009, we were not able to really connect in person there.  Last May at a FAM trip in Vero Beach Florida, we were able to spend some time in conversation with other planners and I am so grateful for that time to get to know Amy better.  Amy does a lot of destination weddings in exotic locales, so I could honestly sit and listen to her talk all day about the places she has traveled and the wonderful details she incorporates for her clients weddings.  In addition to planning, Amy created Weducation Workshops to educate aspiring planners.  She has recently launched the Weducation Workshops website, that includes online classes so be sure to check it out.  Trust me when I say there isn’t another workshop quite like this out there – it is really genius!  I will be sharing more about the workshops with you in a more in-depth article in mid- April, so keep your eyes open for that.  In the meantime, follow Amy on Twitter @FetePerfection and get to know her better by reading her style profile here.  Enjoy!

 Name:  Amy Rubins   

Location: Minneapolis

Company Name:  Fete Perfection

Number of years in business: 13

Website: www.feteperfection.com

Blog: www.feteperfection.com/blog

Twitter handle:  @FetePerfection

How would you describe your personal style?  Classic, French, Hepburn

What is your “go-to” meeting attire?  tailored slacks, flats, dressy blouse & pearls

What is your “go-to” evening industry event attire? (i.e., associational meeting, vendor or venue open house, etc.) Jacket, pants, silk blouse & pearls

What is your attire for wedding/event day set-up?  Same as wedding day attire but dressy shoes

What is your attire for actual wedding/event?  Dressy black slacks, silk blouse, jacket and again pearls.

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/utterly-engaged/shelter-box-usa

Normally, tomorrow would be Fabulous Fashion Friday here on The Stylish Planner.  However, I just can’t bring myself to carry on about a pair of designer shoes when I listen to news reports of food shortages and snowfall upon the many recent homeless souls in Japan.  The gals over at a couple of my favorite blogs, Utterly Engaged and Ever Ours have collaborated on a wonderful fundraising effort with ShelterBox, an organization that provides urgent, temporary needs for people affected by natural disaster.  Shelterbox was on the ground in Japan the Saturday after the earthquake – impressive.  I was happy to make a donation today and I hope that you will check out the link to For Japan With Love as well.

My heart grieves and my soul prays for the people of Japan.  

On this day, we honor the life and work of a great American.  Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day from The Stylish Planner.

I’ll leave you with my favorite MLK quote: “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

NOTE FROM JEANNINE:  Please enjoy this guest post today from the very talented Lauren Kelly.  Lauren is a wedding planner out of Waco, Texas, and I absolutely adore her blog, Love, Milk & Honey.  If you aren’t reading it, you definitely should be.  It is a wonderful online community for nearlylwed and newlyweds – or even “seasoned” married folks like me!  I think providing this resource for couples is such a wonderful thing – especially in a world where we are usually so focused on the wedding day itself and not the marriage.

I am especially excited to share that Lauren will be guest blogging on The Stylish Planner for the next 5 weeks!   Next Wednesday, she will share with you a great post on companionship and January 19 – February 9th, she write a 4 part series on dating your spouse.  Lauren and I talked about this late last year and deliberately held off on sharing this with readers so that we could provide it just in time for Valentine’s Day.  This May, my sweet hubby and I will celebrate 14 years of marriage, and one thing we have definitely let slide is our dating life, so I am really looking forward to this series from Lauren.  I hope you will check in on the blog to read this great series.  In the meantime, check out Lauren’s style profile, get to know her a bit and follow her on Twitter: @theLaurenKelly!

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When my husband James and I were married, we had an 8 year relationship under our belts.  I married a man that I knew and knew well and I can say he felt the same about me.  But, what we didn’t know yet was what it meant to be a companion.  As we dove into the “married couple” community I found that we were not the only ones who had to learn this craft.

Through trial and error, and a few fights about the dishes piled in the sink, I learned that James was most responsive and in tune to my needs and wants when I showed my concern about his rather than when I gave reminders or correction.  Essentially, by taking on an attitude of servant-hood towards the things that build him up, I was encouraging him to do the same for me.  This has had an amazing effect on the way we feel at home and the way we feel about one another.

Wanting a companion is one thing but wanting to be one requires a completely different mentality.  Please be clear in knowing you cannot have companionship with your spouse unless you are willing to do everything you can to be the best companion to them.  Focusing on filling up your spouse and being intentional in your actions will create an environment that encourages desire to reciprocate.  It’s not easy to constantly pour into someone if you are running on empty but if you try this, even for one week, I think you will see an extreme difference in the attitude of your spouse and yourself.

Here are a few keys to help get you started.

1.  Creating an environment in your home and your heart that makes your spouse feel welcome is vital.  Without establishing openness from the beginning, you are closing yourself off to receiving love in the way your spouse is trying to give it

2.  Write out 5 descriptive words that express how you want your spouse to feel.  Loved, cared for, treasured, happy, joyful, important, etc.  Carry that list with you and measure your actions toward your mate up against those words.  If they don’t measure up, readjust your approach.  This will keep your heart in check and help you make sure everything you do is out of love.

3.  Everyone loves to be spoiled.  Going the extra step to show appreciation to your spouse in both action and words will return to you ten-fold.  Some examples: if you are the first to leave the house, leave a note for your man on the mirror, or the next time you are out and at the store, grab a bag of his favorite candy and place it somewhere for him to find.

** I feel like I need to add in here that not everyone gives or receives love in the same way.  Ask gentle questions of your spouse such as: “What is your favorite date we have been on?” or “Do you like it when I come see you at your office?”  This will guide you to what things make your spouse feel most appreciated.  I also recommend Gary Chapman’s Book The Five Love Languages to give more insight into giving and receiving love. **

4.  When dealing with any negative experiences or situations that need to be resolved, first share with your spouse three things you appreciate or love about them.  Be as specific as possible so as to let them know that your disappointment is not about them as a person – merely about the situation.

5.  We’ve all heard this since grade school but it’s worth repeating: Think before you speak.  Truly filter your words through love.  Once things are said they cannot be taken back.  In moments of anger, frustration, or hurt, take the opportunity to grow in your own character rather than reacting out of emotion.  Make sure the things you pour into your spouse you would want to receive back from them.

Now, let’s get real for a minute, do not go to your spouse and say, “hey, I think you’ve been a crummy companion so I’m going to try some new things this week to make you better at it.” Bad.  No.  Not ok.  Part of serving is humbling yourself and not expecting recognition or return for your deeds.  Adjust your attitude and perform the tasks listed above out of a desire to be the best spouse you can be.  How your mate reacts is solely on them.

Nurture your relationship this week.  Offer encouragement and recognize where the scale tips into balance.  Companionship, consistency and compassion go hand in hand so work to have them play equals roles in your actions and you will undoubtedly feel deeper fulfillment in both yourself and your relationships.

Life has a way of changing our plans sometimes.  I should be in full swing with a week’s worth of The Stylish Planner birthday contest giveaways.  Instead, I’m nursing either the flu or some sort of virus that has me struggling to hold my head up.  I’m trying hard to pace myself for a couple of reasons.  First, my husband and I host Thanksgiving dinner for his family.  Tomorrow will begin a marathon of grocery shopping, baking and house cleaning in preparation for Thursday.  Secondly, I have a wedding on Saturday that I am also doing flowers for.  Those of you that provide floral services know how labor intensive the work is, and that hours are spent prepping the flowers in addition to the arranging and design.  I’m concerned that I won’t be strong enough to do both our family dinner and the wedding as well as usual, and with real joy in my heart.  I don’t ask for prayer often, but I would really appreciate your thoughts and prayers right now.

All that aside, I am so very thankful for you – each and every one.  Thank you for your support of The Stylish Planner and for reading faithfully and sharing the resource with others.  We will return to our normal posting schedule on Monday, November 29.  I look forward getting back on track with the awesome birthday giveaways that I hand selected for Stylish Planner readers.

Hey ya’ll! I can’t believe it has been almost one year since I started The Stylish Planner. November 18th marks the blog launch and the very first post.  I can vividly remember telling my husband that if I had 80 dedicated readers per month, I would consider the blog an incredible success.  Almost one year later, over 2000 unique visitors come to the site every month and there are over 14,000 page views per month. I still can’t believe how many of you enjoy the blog, but I am so grateful that you do!

This feels bittersweet – I’m so proud of what the blog has become, yet I know it can be so much more. From the beginning, I wanted this to be a resource for planners, but I’ve received amazing feedback from others in the wedding and event industry as well.  I always wanted the content to be reader driven, not determined by me, so I hope you’ll help by taking part in a brief, 10 question survey: Click here to take survey to help determine the future content of the blog.

Just so you will know what is going through my head, I started The Stylish Planner at a time when my wedding business was very slow. That is no longer true, and in fact, I have missed several posts here and there due to working on what pays the bills. So, I’m wondering if daily posts are even necessary? By taking the survey, you can help me zero in on what content is most important to you.

Instead of two Style Profiles – one for planners, and one for all other vendors, I will be combining the two and streamlining the photo requests to make it easier for you submit your profiles.  Remember, this weekly feature is FREE and open to everyone!  More details coming soon!

I also intended to offer advertising on the blog, but admittedly, that is something that I just never got off the ground. My new goal is to launch a very exclusive advertising platform in early 2011. Affordable but exclusive advertising from retailers and service providers that will provide a very real benefit to the readers. I’m getting excited about what this will bring to the blog.

I’d like to have more giveaways, and that will directly tie into the advertising campaign. Speaking of giveaways, it’s the blog’s birthday, but you will receive the gifts! Beginning on the birthday of the blog, November 18, The Stylish Planner readers will enjoy 5 days of giveaways! I will be giving away some great products as follows:

• 4 Giveaways of the Seth Godin book – Linchpin and the accompanying pamphlet, Ship It
• A $25 gift card to Charming Charlie’s – one of the hottest new retailers of the year
• A beauty package giveaway of some of my favorite beauty finds – this package keeps growing every time I shop!
• Sex & The City 2 on DVD and the SATC Behind the Scenes Fashion Book – celebrating our favorite fashion icons
• Last but not least, an item from the new Tiffany & Co. leather goods line

To win, all you need to do is comment on the blog below or send an email with your feedback for the blog to info@thestylishplanner.com.  Comments can be kudos to the blog, or suggestions on what you would like to see included in the content such as topic ideas.  All comments received via the blog or email between now and noon EST on Wednesday, November 17 will be eligible for one of the giveaways listed above.  Giveaways will be announced on the blog and on Twitter daily starting on our birthday, Thursday, November 18.  Please note:  Comments on Twitter will not count as a contest entry!

Your feedback to the survey (above) and in the comments here or via email will be used to improve the blog and make the content more relevant to the readers.

You can also ask me questions anonymously on Formspring: http://formspring.me/StylishPlanner.  These comments are not eligible for the giveaways (because they are anonymous) but will be taken into consideration for future planning for the blog.

Thank you so much for your support of the blog – I’m excited to implement some changes to make this an even better resource for our readers.

Warmly,

Jeannine Kennedy

Editor,

info@thestylishplanner.com

Twitter: @StylishPlanner

Today I’m really excited to share with you a product that I have often wished existed: Hem Gems .

www.hemgems.com

Hem Gems will help you get over the “blues”.  You know, the denim dilemma of needing multiple pairs of jeans in varying lengths.  Longer jeans to wear with heels, shorter lengths to wear with flats. These savvy studs (like tie tacks) are available in four styles that will allow you to shorten any pair of pants – easy peasy.

Check out the Hem Gems website for the 4 different styles that are offered.  At just $20 for an eight-pack, this solution is much more economical than going to a tailor or keeping jeans in more than one length.

What do you think?  Like them or not impressed?

Last month I had the great pleasure of speaking to a group of wedding and event professionals at an annual conference called WeWed in Southwest Florida. The conference producer, Kelly McWilliams of Weddings by Socialites is a great friend of The Stylish Planner, in fact, she was the FIRST planner to be featured on the blog. (Read her feature here: Kelly McWilliams Style Profile.) You can follow her on Twitter @weddingtidbits. In addition to enjoying a great conference and meeting some wonderfully talented and kind vendors in the area, I was thrilled to be in the company of two very talented ladies.