Have a great week!

The following article was posted on March 10, 2010.

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Today I am finishing up a series called “What to wear” for wedding and event planners.  Over the last couple of months we have covered the following topics:

What to wear: To the rehearsal

What to wear: for wedding/event set-up

What to wear: to a client meeting

What to wear: to the wedding/event

What to wear: to evening events

These topics have had some of the highest number of visits on the blog, which tells me that what you wear while representing your business is important to you.  If you should think of any other “what to wear” topics I could cover, please feel free to send an e-mail to  info@thestylishplanner.com and I’ll be glad to cover it!

Today’s topic is what to wear on your day off.  I suppose I really should give a disclaimer here.  I am “one of those girls” that rarely leaves the house without makeup.  Go ahead, roll your eyes, I know you want to.  Now, in my defense, on my days off I’m not going for glam, just put together.  If the only plans I have outside of the house are to drive my son to school and pick him up, then it’s a no make-up, sunglasses and yoga pants kind of day.  (I should add that I drop off and pick up via carline, so I never even get out of my car.)  If there are plans to run a few errands, I usually pare things down to just mascara and lip-gloss, but even then, I pull on a pair of jeans and a fitted t-shirt.  To summarize:  if I am going to be seen, I make an effort.

I could not agree more with this quote from Tim Gunn, host of Project Runway:  “Soft cotton pants should be avoided if one is going anywhere other than the yoga studio.”  I would possibly make a rare exception to this rule for something like a quick run into the grocery store.

Why do I feel this way?  Here are a few reasons:

1)  I live in a small community and I’ve been in this area for most of my life.  I almost always run into someone I know in a public place, whether it is a neighbor, parent from my son’s school, past co-workers, church friends, previous clients, high school or college friends, etc.  I still see people that remember I worked at the local K-mart when I was 17.  Murphy’s Law #142 says that if you leave your house looking terrible, you will quite certainly run into everyone you know.  (Just kidding, I made that up, but it seems to be true in my case.)

2)  People in small communities (and large ones too) talk, a lot.  Let’s call a spade a spade, it isn’t just talk, it’s gossip.  It’s not likely they will tell others that they saw me in the frozen food section at Publix and I looked fabulous, but they will tell everyone they know if I looked horrible.  I learned this truth about small town life the hard way.

3)  You never know when you will meet a potential client, or someone that will refer you to a potential client.  Your chances are greater of being referred or hired if you look nice.  Also, when I look good, I feel good.  I’d be terribly uncomfortable having a conversation with someone while wearing sweatpants and no makeup.  I simply would not be at my best.  It would be difficult to come across as professional or even polite.

4)  The general public has a perception that wedding and event planning is a glamorous career.  Likewise, I think people believe that we make tons of money.  People are fascinated by this profession.  They always expect us to be just like Jennifer Lopez in The Wedding Planner, and usually that is their frame of reference.  In a strange way, these perceptions bring value to what we do.  I think we would all agree that J-Lo’s character was well put together and fashionable.  She was good at what she did, a consummate professional.  (Well, except for falling in love with the groom to be, but I digress.)  My point is, I choose not to contribute to lowering the expectations of the public, or devaluing our profession by going out in my pajamas or some other fashion foolishness.

5)  In a downed economy, we are faced with the unfortunate situation of justifying the need for a wedding/event planner.  Yet, we want to make more money, to reach clients in the luxury market, the “high-end” bride.  How would you suggest that we do that while wearing crocs and oversized sweatshirts?

Having said all this, I realize that I haven’t really addressed what to wear on your day off.  I think it would be easier to address what not to wear on your day off.  Here’s a summary:

Photos courtesy of www.peopleofwalmart.com 

Basically, ladies, make an effort.   A well groomed ponytail is fine.  Jeans are fine.  Pajamas and sweatpants, not so fine.  I think you get the idea.

What are your thoughts for dressing on your day off?  Are there any clothing items you feel should be banned from wearing in public?

There is no way to put this delicately…I DESPISE stockings (aka pantyhose).  With the creation of Spanx, I find no redeeming qualities whatsoever in everyday pantyhose.  In fact, I have not purchased a pair since I worked in the insurance industry in the late 1990’s.  I pray that I never will again.  They make my feet cold but sweaty at the same time.  Shoes that fit fine without pantyhose are suddenly too big with them on.  Within five minutes of finally squirming my way into them, I’ve picked them or poked a hole in them – just one wearing and there’s a hole in the toe.  Not to mention the going rate for a decent pair averages about $5 each – FOR ONE WEAR – ridiculous!

I will confess to the purchase of a couple of pair of fishnet stockings in black, a nice compromise for me, actually.  And I do wear tights in the winter.  Just no pantyhose, please!

The freedom that comes from banishing pantyhose from my wardrobe does create a bit of a challenge, however – what to do in the cooler months of the year?  Tights don’t always work seem to work, and neither do the fishnets.  I prefer to go bare legged, but then my legs are cold and pale.  Unless I’ve remembered to apply self tanner for at least a week prior to the event, which never happens – who know what they are gong to wear a week ahead of time?! (O.k.  Sometimes I do, I admit.)  Depending on the temperature, my legs may even look blue if they are cold and then there’s the lovely goose bumps to consider as well.  What’s a girl to do?!

What’s your anti-stocking/pantyhose solution?  If, like me, you spent years trapped in lycra hell from wearing pantyhose, take out your frustrations here – tell me why you also hate pantyhose – I’d love to hear from you!  If, by some chance, you still wear them, please help me understand why!

p.s.  I was more than a little disturbed at the discovery of "mantyhose" while writing this post. *SMH*

I’d like to go on the record and say that I do not like the method that I have used in the past – the clipboard.  It’s bulky, hard to keep track of, ties your hands up and to me, feels a little disheveled.  However, the clipboard is what I became accustomed to and I’ve stuck with it out of comfort.  Although I am looking to “upgrade”, the clipboard has been a good way for me to have the information I need throughout the day/evening at my fingertips.  Perhaps if I share the documents that I use on the wedding day, you can see why the clipboard has worked for me.  Here is a list of documents that I use for weddings – keep in mind that every wedding is different, so not all these would apply to each wedding.

-Vendor Contact List – this is a complete list of every vendor involved in the wedding.  I include all the ceremony and reception vendors as well as the guest hotel, couple’s hotel, hair & makeup, transportation, etc.  Each vendor’s cell phone information is included in case I need to reach them on the wedding day.

-Wedding Party Contact List – this list includes all wedding party members, their role, and their cell phone number.

-Timeline:  I create incredibly detailed timelines that include every single detail of the day, from the time the bride starts hair and makeup down to what time all vendors must vacate the reception venue.  I’d be lost without this document.  The average timeline is about 3 pages, but I’ve had 8 page timelines when I’m coordinating the ceremony as well as the reception.

-Copy of Ceremony Program

-Any toasts, poems, readings, etc. I always want to be able to produce a copy of these items in case the person speaking forgets theirs.

-Payment and/or Gratuity List – If there are any remaining payments due, I offer to deliver them as well as any gratuities on behalf of the client.  If they have made arrangements for someone else to deliver them, I check with each vendor at the end of the evening to make sure payment has been received. 

-Floor Plan/Event Layout Diagram

-Inventory List: – this list includes items that belong to FAVOR Events that I need to make sure are returned to me at the end of the evening.  For instance, jars for candy bar set-up; birdcage or satin box for gift cards, photo frames for reserved tables, etc.  I also include a client inventory list of items that need to go home with whoever is taking the wedding gifts on behalf of the couple.

-Seating chart diagram or seating list

As you can see, there are just too many pages to carry around in my hands or to fold and put into a dress pocket.  As mentioned, I’m definitely looking to simplify things, and really want to figure out a way to have my hands free for most of the evening.  So, for our next wedding, I think I will try a couple of new approaches to information management and see which works better for me.  First, I have purchased a small, black leather cross body style bag with lots of pockets.  I plan to fold pages in half to insert in the bag, and I think I could get a few of my most used emergency kit items inside as well.  I could also put a compact and my lip gloss inside for those quick touch up’s that are so necessary. 

The second method I will try is to download all the documents to my iPhone – I’ll probably use Evernote for this.  I believe I will try working strictly from the iPhone and only pull out the actual documents if necessary.  However, I will always have copies on hand, in case the iPhone dies, or I am getting poor reception – I know there are a couple of venues where my phone does not get good reception, if any. 

I am very much a paper person and find comfort in having those pages at my fingertips, as well as the ability to jot down quick notes if we decide to make any last minute timeline changes, so this will be a real challenge for me.

What about you, savvy planners?  What is your current information management style for the wedding or event day?  I know there are some savvy planners out there with streamlined methods and I’d love to hear from you!

What to wear: for wedding/event set-up

What to wear: to a client meeting

What to wear: to the wedding/event

What to wear: to evening events

These topics have had some of the highest number of visits on the blog, which tells me that what you wear while representing your business is important to you.  One last post is planned for next Monday, “What to wear to wear on your day off”.  If there are any additional topics regarding what to wear that you would like me to cover, just send me an e-mail to  info@thestylishplanner.com to let me know and I’ll be glad to cover it!

For a wedding planner, the ceremony rehearsal can go a couple of different ways:

1)  The ceremony rehearsal is at a church/synagogue/temple

2)  The ceremony rehearsal is at an event venue, which could possibly be outdoors

In my experience, ceremony rehearsals in a place of worship usually are conducted by a staff member or a wedding guild volunteer.  In this case, I am usually there as an observer.  Many times this is my first opportunity to meet the groom and/or his family, so I try to get to know them a bit and get a feel for any potential issues between the families, or if the groom’s family requires help of any kind.

I grew up in a very conservative church in which women were required to wear skirts or dresses.  Because of that, I do tend to choose one of these options to wear to rehearsals in a house of worship.  Disclaimer:  I am not saying that all planners should wear a dress or skirt to a rehearsal in a house of worship.  I realize that many of you may feel this way of thinking is ridiculous.  I find this to be a “safe” choice that I don’t later regret.  Also, I happen to like dresses and skirts, so wearing them does not take me out of my comfort zone at all.

For church rehearsals, I usually choose a feminine blouse and skirt or a floral/print dress.  I like the opportunity to wear a little color instead of the conservative black that I usually wear for the actual wedding day.  If I am coordinating the ceremony, I wear a low heel or flats.  If I am observing, I like to pull out some of my great heels.  I find the rehearsal is a great time to show your sense of style to the wedding party, (especially bridesmaids) which often contains one of more engaged persons i.e. – potential clients!

Also, I never wear anything even slightly revealing to a church rehearsal.  We’ve all been in situations where the “church ladies” resent our presence at all, so why give them further reason to dislike us?  Also, your couples are having their ceremony in a church because of their beliefs (or their parents beliefs) so be sure to show your respect in attire and in attitude.  Anything tight fitting, showing cleavage, midriff or too much leg is a no-no.

For event venue rehearsals, I feel that you can be a little more casual.  I have worn dress slacks to event venue rehearsals before.  If you are going to be outdoors, you should think about where you will be walking – if the ceremony will take place on a lawn, go with a casual, flat shoe.

Here are two examples of Spring 2010 outfits that I would consider wearing to a ceremony rehearsal:

On the left: J. Crew; on the right: Kate Spade

Do you have a particular style that you adhere to for wedding rehearsal attire?  I’d love to hear your thoughts!

What to wear: to a client meeting  

What to wear: to the wedding/event

What to wear: to evening events

These topics have had some of the highest number of visits on the blog, which tells me that what you wear while representing your business is important to you.  Future posts are planned for what to wear to the rehearsal and what to wear to wear on your day off.  If there are any additional topics regarding what to wear that you would like me to cover, just send me an e-mail info@thestylishplanner.com to let me know!

Today, I thought I’d talk about an attire policy for wedding/event set-up.  From past conversations with other planners, I would say this is one area where we have widely differing opinions.  Some of you have company shirts made with the company name and logo for your set-up “uniform”.  Those who do this usually ask your staff to wear these with jeans, khakis, or even shorts in hot climates like we have here in Atlanta.  I’ve also heard planners say that you simply wear jeans or shorts.  Others say that they wear the same attire throughout the day, but that you wear flat shoes for set-up and change into a dress shoe prior to guest arrivals.

Funny story:  The very first wedding I worked, out of a desire to look professional, I wore a short sleeved summer suit and stylish leather flats that I thought would be comfortable.  By the time the reception started, the suit jacket had seriously chaffed the skin on the back of my arms from how much I had been moving around all day.  In addition, I could smell something horrible everywhere I went.  It wasn’t until I went to the restroom to change into my dress that I realized the smell was my own feet!  The leather shoes had been a terrible choice for running around in all day.  I ended up washing my feet very quickly in the restroom sink!

  www.theweddingplanner.com

Dressing for event set-up is largely a personal decision, and I will say again that it is really best to know your client base.  I will also say you should take each event into careful consideration.  Here are a few things to consider when choosing what to wear for wedding/event set-up:

-How much equipment do you have to load in for this event?  For instance, if you are providing day-of coordination only, you probably don’t have much to load in compared to an event in which you may be providing event design services in addition to coordinating the day.

-Will the venue have the a/c or heat going throughout the day as needed?  Venues that are not open to the public during the week may keep the heating and air turned off.  It can take a while for the building to warm up or cool off.

-What kind of venue is it?  I may feel inclined to dress a little better at a museum or hotel venue where it is likely that I encounter visitors during regular business hours.

-Will you have ample time to change in between set-up and ceremony or reception start?  If I know the schedule is going to be extra tight, I may go ahead and dress for set-up in simple black slacks and a simple blouse just in case I don’t get a chance to change before being seen by wedding guests.  I have ran out of time before, and was very grateful I hadn’t dressed too casually. 

-How much driving around will you be doing for the day?  If you are making multiple stops on your way to the venue, or traveling from a church ceremony to another venue for the reception, all the more reason to be comfortable.

Even if you are merely overseeing set-up details, you will be running around a lot, so comfort is the key to helping you survive the day.

To summarize, I’m not sure there is one “right way” to dress for event set-up.  At FAVOR Events, we really do not have a set policy, other than that I do require my staff to wear lanyard style nametags at all times.  I have considered implementing a dress code policy, however, every wedding seems to hold a different set of circumstances.  I have worn everything from a simple cotton sundress and flip flops in extremely hot weather to jeans, boots and a sweatshirt in cold weather.  I’ve worn a cardigan sweater with a t-shirt, slacks and ballet flats.  I’ve even worn tennis shoes, Bermuda shorts and a Georgia Bulldogs T-shirt when I had a great rapport with the groom and knew that he and his groomsmen would be onsite watching the game.

In your opinion, is attire for event set-up a big deal or not so much?  Do you have a set policy regarding set-up attire for your company?  I’d love to hear it.  Better yet, send us photos if you have them – we will share them in a future post!

A couple of weeks ago, we discussed whether or not wearing jeans to a client meeting is acceptable.  Prior to writing the post, I suspected that opinions would vary, and boy, was I was right!  While it seems that most planners err on the conservative side (as do I), some of the planners we have featured do wear jeans to client meetings.  It really all boils down to knowing your client base.  I encourage you to read the post and comments for more details, then decide for yourself what is best.

I think of a potential client meeting as a first date – I want to look my best.  Regardless of how they came in contact with me,  I dress pretty conservatively, keeping any “flair” down to just the smaller details of my attire.  Once I have a feel for the client’s personality, I may dress a little more casual at our subsequent meetings.  If I look my best at our initial meeting, then I feel confident and poised.  I can put my full concentration on how we can partner together on their wedding.

Here is a punch list of items I would choose from for a first time client meeting:

• Slacks – nicely tailored, lined slacks in a serious color such as gray, navy or black
• Skirt – no shorter than just above the knee, no longer than just below the knee
• Jacket – again, nicely tailored (fit means everything when it comes to a good jacket) and not too matchy-matchy with the slacks or skirt.  Note: I no longer wear matching suit jackets with slacks or skirts – I feel it ages you.  Mix and match your separates instead.
• Cardigan sweater set – our First Lady has this look down to an art (see below)
• Pullover sweater – you can’t go wrong with cashmere
• Basic white dress shirt
• Nice heels – make sure you are comfortable walking in them and that they are clean. Save the stilettos for evening.
• Simple jewelry such as classic diamond stud earrings or pearls
• Accent piece – when I’m feeling that my look is so conservative that I feel stifled, I use a bright, bold broach or scarf to accent my look with.  I would wear the broach on my jacket lapel or on the shoulder area (just above your heart) of a sweater.  If I decide to go with a scarf instead, I might tie it to my handbag, pulling a color from the attire I have chosen. 

Here are a couple of ideas for the look I’m referring to:

What do you wear to initial client meetings?  What are your tips for making a great first impression?  Let us know!

Among wedding planners, this topic is very controversial.  One the one hand, conservative types may say that wearing jeans portrays an unprofessional vibe.  On the other hand, creative types may say that they are dressing authentically, and are not willing to dress differently just to win a client.

Personally, I would not wear jeans to first time meeting with anyone, whether it be a client, vendor, venue owner/director, etc.  My reason is simple – I want to make the best possible first impression.  Even if that means I am overdressed.  Please keep in mind that I am pretty conservative when it comes to business dress.  I’m not saying jeans are inappropriate, just that I choose not to wear them to first meetings.

Once we’ve met, then it’s a different story.  For our next meeting, I would consider wearing jeans if:

-the other party wore jeans to our first meeting

-the location of our meeting is a casual atmosphere

-the location of our meeting was outdoors and we would be walking on a lawn, dirt path, etc.

-the other party is a “creative type” such as a florist, photographer, etc.

-other events of my day were casual enough that I could wear jeans to those also

When I do wear jeans to a business meeting, I always go for a professional look.  I like to wear a stylish, heeled shoe and a nice tailored jacket.  Because I prefer dark wash jeans, I usually go for bold colored jewelry or a broach on the jacket lapel to brighten things up.  Here are two celebrity looks where jeans with a suit jacket works nicely:

The look on the left is Rachel Bilson.  The look on the right is Jennifer Anniston.

Alright, my savvy planner friends, weigh in here! Jeans to meetings – what do you say?

Well, as a result of that show, I had all my suit skirts altered to a length that would have made Ally herself blush.   I worked in the insurance industry -a very conservative, male-dominated industry at the time.  It’s a sheer miracle I kept my job…or maybe the skirts were some sort of job security, I may never know.  Looking back, I can now say that the skirts were inappropriate.  I was in my early 20’s and had a sense that they were on the borderline, but I didn’t care.  Today, I have a much better sense of appropriate attire for my age, my figure, my profession, and for the event I am attending.  And, I have a foolproof rule of thumb that I follow.  Allow me to share.

Choose one feature to “showcase”.  I have nice legs up to about mid-thigh, and then they start to get a little too much jiggle when I wiggle if you know what I mean.  I am well endowed, so I have a nice décolletage, but I would never show a lot of leg and a lot of cleavage all at once.  I’d choose one or the other.  I have nice shoulders and a long neck and my arms are fairly well toned, but look best in the warmer months when I’ve been in the sun.  My personal opinion is that skin is most sexy when it is limited to one area – upper or lower body.

For instance:  If I wanted to show off my shoulders, arms and a bit of cleavage, I would consider this little number.  I’m assuming that the length hits just above the knee.  Perfect for showing off a sexy upper body!

If I wanted to focus on legs, I would consider this dress:It has a nice, open neckline but it ends at about mid-thigh, so the emphasis is on the legs.  Pair the dress with a great pair of heels and it’s discreetly sexy.

We expect too much skin from celebrities.  We expect it from young girls in their 20’s who are rebelling against their ultra conservative higher-up’s. (Guilty.)  However, I feel that at a certain age and in certain company, too much cleavage or too much leg can be dangerously inappropriate and send the wrong message.

What do you think?  How much skin is too much skin?  I’d love to know!

I’m wishing I were at a cocktail party with all of you right now.  Mind is drifting…oh, what the heck – let’s just imagine that we are!  It’s a celebration honoring each and every stylish planner out there – and you’ve been invited!

Close your eyes and picture yourself with your favorite wedding and event planners, at a swanky location.  Great music is playing, there’s a buzz of conversation and laughter in the air…

So…what do you think, is one born with style or is it learned?  (Share your thoughts here.)

Oh, and I almost forgot – CHEERS!

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