Photo courtesy of Couture Caterer
Back in February of this year, the Question of The Week on The Stylish Planner was about Vendor Meals. Specifically, do you accept a vendor meal, or do you request the same meal as the guests? I am closing out the Question of the Week series this Fall, but in the process of that, I am providing my own answers to the questions I posed. So….here is my take on Vendor Meals:
In case I have any newer planners or brides reading this post, I’d just like to clarify which vendors typically are fed at the client’s expense at a wedding. My rule of thumb is any vendor that remains on site while dinner is being served should also be fed, especially if the service they are providing is crucial to the event and they cannot leave to go and get something. This usually includes the photographer(s), videographer(s), the band, the wedding planner and their staff. In cases where security is being provided, I also recommend a meal for them, especially if they are working alone or are an off duty police officer. I do not typically recommend that onsite event staff be fed by the client, although sometimes the caterer will provide food for them as a courtesy, especially if the venue and the caterer have a good working relationship.
I highly recommend to planners that you include the topic of vendor meals with your clients as soon as you begin budget discussions. It may not seem like a big deal, but a $300 – $400 unexpected expense in the last days leading up to the wedding can be a big deal to a client who thought they had everything covered. Prepare them in advance for this and discuss with them any vendors that are requesting anything above a vendor meal. In my market, vendor meals range from $15 – $27 depending on the venue and what kind of meal the chef prefers to prepare for vendors (see below).
There are a few ways that vendor meals can be provided:
1) A boxed lunch type meal that was prepared earlier in the day and refrigerated.
2) A separate, less expensive meal than what is being provided for the guests is prepared. (I see this frequently at country clubs and other private facilities.)
3) The vendor receives the same meal as the guests. Sometimes the caterers will prepare a plate for the vendor, sometimes the vendor is asked to go through the line with the guests.
I have worked with several photographers that request the same meal as the guests. Some even have it written in their contracts. What I hear over and over from photographers is that, “We work very hard. We are on our feet for 8 – 10 hours shooting and carrying heavy equipment. If we leave to go buy a decent meal, we will not be able to capture all of the wedding.” I hear you, I really do. If you have it in your contract to be provided a guest meal, then that is what you will receive, but please don’t show up expecting to eat along with the guests – even if you are provided the guest meal, vendors typically sit separate from guests, unless you have been specifically invited to be included as a guest by the client.
I’ve also had bands request the same meal as the guests, as well as access to the bar, but either myself or my client typically declines. To me, regarding bands, it is purely a money issue. With an average of 8 – 10 members per band, at $75+ per person for food, with another $10 – $15 for alcohol, very quickly the cost of an average band in my market would go from about $3,500 to well over $4,200. Pertaining to the bar…I’m pretty old fashioned when it comes to that. If you are working, you don’t need to be drinking.
The policy that I have chosen to implement for my company, FAVOR Events is that we will gladly accept whatever vendor meal is provided. I do, however, have it written in my contract that we will be provided a meal and a designated area for breaks. Over the years, I’ve only had one or two weddings, where we were not provided food and could not leave the venue to go and eat. At one wedding in particular, I sat on the kitchen floor and ate a Subway sandwich that my assistant had to go pick up for me because we were not provided either a meal or a place for breaks. Every family is different and you can’t assume anything, so whatever you are asking for, it is best to put it in the contract.
There are so many reasons I have chosen not to ask for a guest meal. For one thing, I rarely get to slip away for more than 15-20 minutes at any wedding. If I were wolfing down a heavy meal in that time frame, it would literally make me sick. It would quite honestly be a waste of money for my client to provide that for me, my meals go half eaten anyway. Another reason is, I need the down time away from guests. 15 minutes of quiet away from the noise and the demands is so helpful to me. I can analyze how the first portion of the event has gone and strategize the next portion of the evening. Being able to slip my shoes off and put my feet up for a few moments is what gets me through the rest of the evening. Whenever possible, I have my assistant take their break before me, then there is always someone near the client if they should need anything. I try to take my break last after all other vendors in case there are not enough vendor meals, then I can always see if the caterer has something left from the guest meal, or I can grab a protein bar from my emergency kit. I’m usually too busy to think much about feeling hungry.
The last reason I have chosen not to ask for guest meals is my concern over the appearance of impropriety. If I am having the guest meal, the best time to have it is when the guests are also having their dinner time. I need to eat quickly and get back to work, so I have 3 choices: 1) Ask a server to make me a plate, 2) Jump in line in front of guests, or 3) Wait until all guests have gone through the line. None of these choices are especially good. If I ask a server to make me a plate, first of all, I am pulling valuable resources from the catering staff at their peak service time in the evening. Second of all, if a guest notices that I had a server making me a plate, they will form an opinion about me, likely not a good one, and that opinion will forever become their impression of me and my company. Same thing if I jump in front of a guest. If I wait until all guests have been served, then it isn’t very likely that I will have time to enjoy the food and make it back in time for the next item in the timeline. If, instead, I go with the vendor meal, at the top of the guest dinner time, then I have easily enough time to enjoy my meal and put my feet up. Even better, there is no worry about the food getting cold!
I think as planners, we see the budget side of things and think more about the logistics of serving a second set of guests or serving a separate meal than other vendors do. You will never hear me say that a photographer or band member does not deserve a wonderful meal or an extended break for their hard work. Quite the contrary, and if I could, I would treat the whole vendor team to a great meal after the wedding. I just prefer to see egos put aside and the emphasis placed on the client on their wedding day. It is not about you or how hard you work.
Having said all that, I do my very best to make sure every single vendor gets a piece of cake or other dessert, and my staff and I will serve them water or sodas all night long as time allows. It’s a small token really, but there is almost always more than enough dessert, and it doesn’t take away from the service staff for me to arrange this for the vendors.
What are your thoughts on vendor meals?
Jeannine Kennedy:
Megan: Thanks so much for sharing this link! It is so interesting to see the variety of meals that this photography has received over the years. I will share this on Twitter also!
2011.Jul.12 5:33 pm
Megan:
i was going though google and came across this. where i live, it seems like the vendor food is required but in the area i am having my wedding, it isn’t. i wasn’t sure what they even ate and wanted to see, and ran across this blog. if you want to see, its here http://whattheyfedme.wordpress.com/2008/06/28/wedding-catering-meals-vendors/ and there were loads of pics too some were funny and some looked so tasty.
2011.Jul.12 2:52 am
Jeannine Kennedy:
Erin:
Thanks for the comment. I honestly had no idea that venues with onsite kitchens were not feeding vendors willingly. That is really unfortunate. The cost and difficulty I think comes in when they are doing offsite catering. It does seem that the easiest solution would be to provide vendors with the same meal as guests. I wish there were a way to make an across the board agreement with caterers to do so. Caterers provide anywhere from 25% to 5% overage on food, depending on the company. Now if they are only providing 5% overage and a few extra guests show up or extra vendors were not accounted for, the extra food can very quickly run out. Probably the biggest wedding faux paus possible is to run out of food when people are still eating, so I definitely see the caterers need to account for every person that eats, however small the portions may be. Extra food is an extra cost to the caterer, so they would need to either build in the cost for vendor meals to the client or charge the individual vendor, neither of which is a great solution. If we vendors wait until all guests are served, we run the risk of not getting a meal at all, or getting a meal too late. I suppose my bottom line is this: the client should not need to worry about arranging this. If there is a planner involved, they need to take care of making sure the vendors get whatever they requested in their contracts. If there is no planner involved, the vendor needs to take the initiative to make sure that their meal is being arranged. Venues with onsite coordinators make their bread and butter sometimes by saying that the client won’t need to hire a wedding planner. That being the case, the onsite coordinator needs to take care of arranging the vendor meals to the satisfaction of the request in the vendor’s contract. Also, a key element to making this work for everyone is bringing in to the attention of the appropriate person early in the planning process, not the week of the wedding, and definitely not by showing up in the kitchen during guest dining and asking for a hot meal.
It’s been very surprising for me to see what an issue this is. Very eye-opening. Wedding vendors work very hard – they need to be fed a good meal. It shouldn’t be this difficult.
2011.Jul.07 12:47 pm
Erin Cady:
As a photographer, my contract just states that any event over 4 hours in length, requires that I be fed. My best friend who I often shoot with requires a “hot meal”, but personally, I am ok with whatever. I suppose I just want to be considered as a human being! I completely agree with you on the stance of hating the thought of an expensive heavy meal going to waste. (although my assistant could eat a huge heavy meal in 15mins and be perfectly happy every time. Maybe it’s because he’s a guy? not sure. haha) I can also say that it is very important that we are eating while the bride and groom are eating so that we are available to them to photograph when they’re done. I always hate trying to talk to a server and getting the death look when I ask if there is any way I can get my meal after the bride and groom are served. These are generally weddings without planners, and it seems that even though the bride and I have discussed it prior and she is completely on board and understands, the venues treat me as if I am being rude or demanding when all I’m trying to do is get 15min to shove food in my face so I can be ready for my client again. I can also definitely say that I have gotten the whole spectrum as far as the quality of the meal. One of the highest end venues in Aspen is known for serving terrible vendor meals. It always blows my mind to go to a high end venue that told us they had no where for us to be or sit period, and we were ABSOLUTELY not allowed to be seen eating by guests. Am I not a human that is allowed to eat? wouldn’t want the guest seeing us slaves eating.
Now I joke, but that is really how it felt. We ended up sitting on the floor outside the ballroom, with a guard at the door, eating a soggy cold sandwich that had to have been made days prior. I was starving, had been with the bride since before lunch time (which often means at this point we’ve also skipped lunch) and I couldn’t even stomach more than the apple and my cookie. 4 hours later I was going to have an hour long drive home with not even a fast food option. I can remember that drive and just shaking by the time I got in my door. There is also a scenario like last week where I got a wonderful vendor meal, but it had several items in it that I don’t like. I’m not a very particular person, but without any option, I picked through it a bit, ate very little and ultimately didn’t eat. So while the effort was completely in the right place, I would have been much happier to run through the line and get salad and a roll. The vendor meal cost ending up being a waste as well where there was plenty of food that they would not have needed to pay for an extra head in the buffet line. I guess I always just thought it was easier for the caterer to not have to think about preparing something different for me. I just assumed I was being helpful or easier by asking for the same meal! I’ve actually told brides often that if they are ok with me running through the buffet line, to NOT add a head to their count or ask for a separate meal because I won’t need much anyway. Of course this doesn’t work if they’re doing a plated meal, but is that scenario valid?
2011.Jul.07 1:06 am
Jeannine Kennedy:
Thanks, Ben. I couldn’t agree more with your mention of the planner’s responsibility to review contracts. In addition to meals, planners should be pulling start and finish times, required breaks, payment schedule, etc. I feel a new blog post coming on…
2011.Jun.30 7:47 am
Ben Vigil:
Hi Jeannine! Unfortunately we live in an age where most of the clauses we vendors put in our contracts come about as a result of having been shafted (so to speak)… so we try to put a few preventative measures in place in the form in contractual fine print. Right after lodging, vendor meals is one of those measures. Our contract states that we are to be served the same meals as guests. This seems like the simplest solution that introduces the least amount of work for those involved, the caterer in particular.
We still get served “vendor meals” periodically and I usually don’t say anything. My goal on the wedding day is to be a team with solutions, not a source of contention. In fact, over the years the vendor meals have gotten a lot better. That said, in spite of every effort sometimes we still get cold 3-day old “band-wiches” — it’s then that I have to stick up for my team and ask that we get treated better. I’m left wondering why the coordinator didn’t review their client contracts to cover all these bases. I would think that a contract review would be an essential part of ensuring that the vendor meets their contractual obligations. It should NEVER come as a surprise to a coordinator that a vendor requires a hot meal.
Regarding where we eat, I’m fine with wherever they choose to seat us as long as we have a clear line of communication with the planner so that we are alerted in case anything takes place with the client. As an aside, we’ve had a wedding or two where the client actually reserved a place at tables among the guests for us. When there is a buffet, 9 out of 10 times, the bride or one of the parents approaches us and asks if we got a chance to eat and insists that we eat whatever we want.
On the other extreme, I have a bride this fall that is absolutely insisting that I have another photographer on hand (I always do), so that when the reception starts I can have fun and party with them. I’m not sure what I’m going to do about that one just yet…
2011.Jun.30 12:43 am
Janice Carnevale:
Hi Jeannine! I have a bunch of mixed thoughts on this subject too. First, I have see photogs require to be seated at a table with the guests. It was a little odd but I see why it is done. Second, most of the non-guest meals are afterthoughts and not particularly satisfying. Third, if one vendor requires a hot meal, I encourage the client to give us all hot meals. Fourth, and finally (for now), I bring up and include these costs as soon as I am working on a catering proposal/contract with a client.
2011.Jun.28 8:42 am
Jeannine Kennedy:
Exactly, Isha. I don’t mind either if that is what one vendor requests. Negotiating up front is key. I find that my clients are usually quite surprised that they are being asked to provide a hot meal, especially a guest meal for their vendors.
2011.Jun.27 11:09 pm
Jeannine Kennedy:
Sharon – you’re a genius! I think you may have started a revolution…gourmet meals for wedding planners and photographers from this point forward! I completely agree with you, but I do see the viewpoint of a caterer that comes into a venue (offsite catering) not being able to provide those meals because their profit margin is already strained. Having said that, I did a wedding in Savannah recently in which the caterer fed ALL the vendors free of charge, the same meal as the guests. We did have to wait until guests went through the line, but it put no extra strain on his staff and seemed like a wonderful solution to my belly.
2011.Jun.27 10:32 pm
Jeannine Kennedy:
Thank you for your comment, Shari. I was hoping a photographer would chime in with their thoughts, and I’m glad you did. So now I feel the need to clarify a couple of my thoughts.
First, I want to clarify that I definitely do not mean that any vendor should not eat at all during the event, or wait until after the event. I meant that if it were feasible for me to treat the vendors to a meal at any point after the wedding, I would gladly do so as a way to show appreciation because I do value the work of all my vendor partners. My experience comes from vendors that complain of a cold boxed meal in lieu of a hot meal, and in many cases, vendors request the same meal as the guests.
Next, I think much of what the caterer or onsite chef can do for vendor meals depends on what kind of kitchen equipment they have access to. I now realize I should have pointed out that much of my recent concern comes from outdoor weddings where offsite catering is being used and the caterer has to bring in mobile kitchen equipment. This scenario requires that the caterer either prepare the food onsite in less than idea working conditions or they partially prepare the food in their main kitchens, then finish it off onsite. To add a couple of hot vendor meals to that, would require that the vendor either get the same meal as guests, or the already strained kitchen staff is now also preparing an additional meal. That is a lot to ask even the best caterer to pull off. In my opinion, either of those options takes something away from the client, either their money, or the catering staff’s attention to the client and their guests.
I too have enjoyed wonderful, hot vendor meals in certain venues. A wedding at Capitol City Club comes to mind. A hot meal was provided for myself, the photographers, and the band at a very reasonable cost to the client. If I recall correctly, this particular venue also feeds their event staff, so providing additional meals for the other vendors was a minimal amount of extra effort.
As a planner, it is really hard to please the client, the guests, the vendors all at the same time. I’m not sure how other planners operate with their vendors on a wedding day, but my staff and I try to check in on vendors, see if they need anything such as water, sodas, cake, etc. Most usually do want cake, or they are at least thankful that we asked. I did NOT mean cake in lieu of food, although there are days when personally that seems like a good idea, but I digress…
I love that you give a print credit, that is such a wonderful compromise. I’ve heard other photographers say that they provide a discount on the contract when the client provides them a guest meal. They key there is that it is being addressed up front. You are making your request clear and explaining why that is important to you. I would suggest to ALL vendors that whatever your request – make sure that you point out to clients what you have in your contract. I have encountered photographers and bands that, for lack of a better word, are quite sneaky about it and come expecting the guest meal – and bar access in many cases. Or, they may have a clause in their contract for a hot meal, but they didn’t point that out to the client. It would also be helpful to the caterer or planner if about two weeks prior to the wedding, vendors called to ensure that their request is carried out. Clients do not always provide us with copies of their contracts, nor do they remember that when they hired you a year ago they agreed to provide you with a guest meal. The problem comes when there is a surprise of some sort.
Of course I know that one bad apple does not always ruin the bunch. Heartfelt apologies if my previous bad experiences relayed any hint of stereotype to any vendor category.
Thank you for the healthy dialogue.
2011.Jun.27 10:25 pm
Lindsay Pitt:
Jeannine, this is such a well written article and I agree with all of your points. The client is paying all of the vendors to do a job, and it is kind of them to pay for vendor meals, whatever they may be. I feel very strongly that no vendor should EVER eat among the guests.
My staff and I put in the most hours of any vendors on the wedding day, often 12+ hours and sitting down to a hot meal on the wedding day just simply is not a reality or a priority.
I do not request or include vendor meals for me or my staff. We do not have time to eat, we are not there to eat. If there are leftovers and we have time, we will gladly accept. We eat a large lunch and have snacks on hand but it is not and in my opinion should not ever be a priority, we are there to work.
Thanks for sharing your opinion.
2011.Jun.27 9:57 pm
Shari Zellers:
I definitely have a lot of thoughts on this subject as a wedding photographer for 12+ years. That being said, I do have a problem with cold meals in the dead of winter in which I’m still shooting plenty of weddings. There are venues that have NO problem serving us right at the same time as the guests in a conference room off to the side so why is it a problem for others? After the wedding is not helpful. I find my energy waivering even after the ceremony when often I’m heading into my 5 hour on my feet doing a very intense job. Going another 3-6 hours without eating SOMETHING more than an oatmeal bar is just not only unfair but really? do you want me to get a headache or pass out? I’m expending a LOT of energy in what I do and it’s really physical.
And cake? LOL, I’ll pass. I just trade my cake for a salad please. I’m trying to stay in shape and cake will also just make me crash from the sugar overload. I just ignore the dessert except for photo purposes honestly.
Also on the subject of paying for a meal? I actually give my client a $25 print credit for each meal they serve us (usually two,sometimes three if it’s a big wedding and we require an assistant for logistical reasons). I’m paying them to feed me so…then the venue gets away with not feeding me by saying it’s not convenient. Lovely.
I do eat quickly, I don’t sit around for more than 15 minutes so I can be back up and in the room before the bride and groom are walking around their guest tables. When this happens the way it should, they are always amazed I’ve already eaten. The time goes by so quickly they don’t notice me gone for those 15-20 minutes (bathroom break).
I’m not asking for filet mignon – a chicken breast is fine! Some steamed or grilled veggies are divine. A salad is spectacular. Why is this so hard to do?
I, too, want to eat away from the guest so I can speak to my second shooters or assistants and eat without being asked too many questions about my equipment or how many photos I’ve taken so far. ;o) Guests never see me getting my plate at this one venue I love. They bring it to us quickly and discreetly each time and I worked there twice this weekend and it’s soooooo helpful to our moral, energy and overall well being!
I just don’t think I’m asking too much. I fed every single one of my vendors on my wedding day and didn’t blink an eye at the cost. It was worth it to me since I value the service they are providing – making my wedding run smoothly and documenting it forever.
2011.Jun.27 9:21 pm
isha | isha foss events:
We often do extensive setup starting in the morning and require a meal before the usual 8 PM vendor service. We generally bring our own or take the boxed option. I don’t really have any problem with what another vendor wants – as long as they negotiate that up front.
2011.Jun.27 8:33 pm
Sharon Alexander:
Very timely! There has been a lot of discussion about this, lately. As a vendor who, luckily, gets to spend the wedding hours at home, I’ve really given it some thought.
If I were the venue I would be sure the photographer and planner were fed no matter what the bride paid or not. Those are two vendors who have a high percentage of being booked by the bride before the venue. They aren’t going to take or recommend a bride to a venue who has treated them poorly. The minimal amount of money it would cost to feed those two to five people is a marketing investment.
Totally agree that vendors should never go through a line with guests present. And, the photog needs to be finished eating before the bride and groom to not miss anything.
So agree with all you said!!!
2011.Jun.27 8:08 pm