NOTE FROM JEANNINE: Please enjoy this guest post today from the very talented Lauren Kelly.  Lauren is a wedding planner out of Waco, Texas, and I absolutely adore her blog, Love, Milk & Honey.  If you aren’t reading it, you definitely should be.  It is a wonderful online community for nearlylweds and newlyweds – or even “seasoned” married folks like me!  I think providing this resource for couples is such a wonderful thing – especially in a world where we are usually so focused on the wedding day itself and not the marriage.

Photo by www.captivating-photo.com

I am especially excited to share that this is the second installment in a four part series from Lauren to be featured on The Stylish Planner over the next couple weeks!   Next Wednesday, she will continue with part three of a great series on dating your spouse.  Lauren and I talked about this late last year and deliberately held off on sharing this with readers so that we could provide it just in time for Valentine’s Day.  This May, my sweet hubby and I will celebrate 14 years of marriage, and one thing we have definitely let slide is our dating life, so I am really looking forward to this series from Lauren.  I hope you will check in on the blog to read this great series.  In the meantime, check out Lauren’s style profile, get to know her a bit and follow her on Twitter: @theLaurenKelly!

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Thanks for tuning in for Part 2 of this fun series.  In case you missed it, you can easily find Part 1 all about fun at-home date nights HERE.  This week I’m touching on spontaneity!  Before you go getting all panicky, let’s have a moment of truth.  If the thought of something being sprung on you makes your sweat glands go into overdrive and your hair lose it’s fluff, hang in there.  I’m the same way!  However (you knew it was coming), be a bit more open minded to this.  Unexpected love isn’t scary, friends. Embrace it!  (Even if your hair does look a little flat.)

Alright, the single and only way surprise dates or random acts of love-ness will happen is if you, as the wife/girlfriend/skirt-wearer and your man create an environment in which your  love for each other just can’t help but bubble over.  AND offer him the same element of surprise when it comes to extra amounts of affection within his love language.  While I talked about the importance of scheduled and set-aside date nights, these surprise dates can pack the same punch and offer reprieve from whatever the day has held.  Be open to a less than perfect date.  Your makeup may be smudged and you may not have a thing to wear but your mate is trying to love on you… accept it.

Photo courtesy of: Taylor Lord Photography

Let’s jump straight into the ideas I’ve got for you this go-round.  If you need a little refresher on the guidelines for date night, check back in the first post HERE.

Now… remember… these are intended to just be spur-the-moment, hey hunny, I love ya… get dressed… I’ve got somewhere for us to go, you’re cute and I want to show you off – kind of nights.  Either spouse can initiate!

Surprise date night #1: Homerun, Baby!

I might have an uncanny love for sports but odds are that you and your mate have at least some sort of overlapping sports interest. Be it your alma mater, a pro sports team or a nearby high school in your community, nab some tickets before the day is done and go to the game!  Jeans, t-shirts and hot dogs!  A night out of the house in a place with immense amounts of energy has a way of working worries away.

Surprise date night #2: Keep it simple & sweet

Ice cream (or frozen yogurt for you healthy ones) is a simple yet fun surprise.  Especially something along the lines of Pinkberry where you get to build your own masterpiece!  Sample each other’s creation and then take your ice cream to the park, river walk, or whatever attraction your town has and just stroll the streets chatting. Catch up on life, talk about the dreams you have for the month or year(s) ahead.  Confide in each other.

Surprise date night #3: Puttin’ on the Ritz

Okay, flashback with me to the movie “Down to You” with Freddie Prince Jr. and Julia Stiles.  He walked into a dark room with only a single candle lit with a note… it said “find the other candle,”  the next note ready “flip on the switch,” and as the light switched on, there Julia was, in the middle of an art gallery (she was an artist) with a romantic dinner for two set-up.  While I can’t make generalized statements for everyone here, I can say that most women like to be romanced.  But, what we often forget is men do too.  Pick an evening to really romance your significant other.  Your efforts and intention will not be overlooked.

Start plotting to spring a surprise date-night on your spouse soon!  No need to wait until Valentine’s Day.  Let me hear from you!  What is the best surprise you’ve ever gotten?  Or… what would be the best surprise date you could ever get?

Happy Dating!

Lauren

NOTE FROM JEANNINE:  Please enjoy this guest post today from the very talented Lauren Kelly.  Lauren is a wedding planner out of Waco, Texas, and I absolutely adore her blog, Love, Milk & Honey.  If you aren’t reading it, you definitely should be.  It is a wonderful online community for nearlylweds and newlyweds – or even “seasoned” married folks like me!  I think providing this resource for couples is such a wonderful thing – especially in a world where we are usually so focused on the wedding day itself and not the marriage.

Photo by Captivating Photo

I am especially excited to share that this is the first installment in a four part series from Lauren to be featured on The Stylish Planner for the next several weeks!   Next Wednesday, she will continue with part two of a great post on dating your spouse.  Lauren and I talked about this late last year and deliberately held off on sharing this with readers so that we could provide it just in time for Valentine’s Day.  This May, my sweet hubby and I will celebrate 14 years of marriage, and one thing we have definitely let slide is our dating life, so I am really looking forward to this series from Lauren.  I hope you will check in on the blog to read this great series.  In the meantime, check out Lauren’s style profile, get to know her a bit and follow her on Twitter: @theLaurenKelly!

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Ahhh, I remember the days when I could hear my football star boyfriend (now husband) turn onto my block in his incredibly loud truck.  I knew when I heard the rumble of the engine there was just enough time to layer on one more swipe of lip gloss and take a final glance in the mirror.  Then I was out the door with butterflies in my stomach and the hopes of stealing a goodnight kiss swirling in my head.  We were off on what promised to be a wonderful dinner date.

Something about having someone set aside dedicated time to spend just for you holds such meaning.  It’s the idea that you, as a woman, are being pursued and courted by a man.  In marriage, you can take comfort in knowing that the man who holds your hand also holds your heart and has spoken vows to handle both of them with care. I am a strong believer in the idea that both husband and wife should continue pursuing one another well past the wedding day.  One great way to do so is to frequently set aside time to go on a date.

Photo by Taylor Lord Photography

This is the first post in a series of four intended to provide a springboard to either help you jump back into dating your spouse or to enrich the date nights you already have set aside for each other.  This week we will dive into some fun ideas for budget friendly at-home dates.

Photo by Taylor Lord Photography

First, a few pointers that are considered rules of thumb no matter what type of date you go on::

1. Set aside a dedicated evening of the week (or every other week) to be date night.  I know a lot of you work on odd schedules and if you have kids added into the mix, your time is even more sparse but the first step in setting intentional time with each other is communicating about it.  Date night doesn’t have to be the same night every time it just needs to be an evening that is clearly communicated in advance as a time for the two of you.
2. Do not let budget be an excuse.  Some of the best dates James and I have had cost absolutely nothing.  Get creative!
3. OK – big statement coming your way… you ready? Date night means you unplug.  Leave the cell phones in the car, don’t sit by the TV’s if you go out to a restaurant and should you happen upon some friends, say hello and then move on.  The evening is about the two of you — no one else needs to steal hold any amount of priority.

Alright, now that the ground rules are out of the way, let’s get to the date ideas!

Photo by Taylor Lord Photography

At home date night #1: Kitchen creation

Working together as a team often presents options for grace and patience to be exercised.  For this date, pick a recipe out of the cookbook you haven’t cracked since you received it at your wedding from aunt Betty, make a trip to the grocery store for ingredients and then spend the first part of your evening creating the meal.  Choose something challenging but not overwhelming. Truly complete the meal as a team – share the tasks and encourage each other.  Stay in the kitchen together through the duration of the preparation process and then enjoy the meal around a candlelit, set table before changing into jammies for a couch cuddle with whatever dessert you created earlier or, if you skipped the homemade pastries, go out for an ice cream run!

At home date night #2: Living Room Lounge

This type of date night is a personal favorite of mine.  Gather up all your favorite blankets and pillows and clear out the furniture in the middle of your living room.  Now, hang in there with me, this next part is key.  Pull your mattress off your box spring and drag it into that cleared out space in your living room.  You heard me… a mattress… in your living room.  Pile on all the pillows and blankets and settle in for movie and popcorn night!  Each of you select a movie in your taste and flip a coin for whose movie goes first.  Remember to keep your phones at bay — this time is just for the two of you.

At home date night #3: Throwback Night!

Block out some time for this ladies, it’s time to get dolled up!  Pick your favorite dress from your past (think prom dress, church program dress, sassy Christmas party dress) and recreate your look.  Blue eyeshadow and poofy bangs may have to be included!  Guys, the same goes for you (except for the eyeshadow part… you don’t have to do that).  Pull out that favorite shirt from high school or the suit you wore on your first date.  Order in some take-out, turn on a few songs from your throwback time period and take a walk down memory lane.  Share your best moments from the past and laugh at all the crazy things you wore.

At home date night #4: What’s with your hobby?

Okay, this one is going to get me in trouble because I am the world’s WORST at being interested in my husband’s hobbies.  My fancy nails just don’t mix with gun triggers.  So this one is just as much a challenge for me as it will be for some of you.  Here’s the gist :: have your husband pick a hobby of his to teach you how to do.  Be it hunting, fishing, Xbox (yes, hunny, I said xbox), or poker.  The key is to be open minded and willing to set aside your opinions of whatever activity is at hand.  You don’t have to become an instant fan of whatever he does but showing that you are interested in him teaching you what he loves about his hobbies means a lot.   Spend the evening in his world. Let him take the lead as your teacher… you may learn even more than you thought!

At home date night #5: Under the stars.

Call me a romantic but you knew I would throw this one in.  Grab a blanket and head for the great outdoors.  If you have a yard, the grass is the perfect place if not, spread the blanket across the hood of your car and just be. Take in the wonder of the night sky, point out the constellations and just enjoy each other’s presence.  There’s nothing like the beauty of creation to make whatever problems the day held melt away.  There’s also nothing like creepy crawlies to kill the mood so don’t forget bug spray!

Pick a night, pick a date, and prepare yourself for the butterflies!  Next week I’ve got some great ideas for an unconventional night out on the town so be sure to head back over then to chime in.  Leave your favorite at-home date night ideas in the comments and let me know how your date night goes this week!

Happy Dating,

Lauren

On this day, we honor the life and work of a great American.  Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day from The Stylish Planner.

I’ll leave you with my favorite MLK quote: “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

NOTE FROM JEANNINE:  Please enjoy this guest post today from the very talented Lauren Kelly.  Lauren is a wedding planner out of Waco, Texas, and I absolutely adore her blog, Love, Milk & Honey.  If you aren’t reading it, you definitely should be.  It is a wonderful online community for nearlylwed and newlyweds – or even “seasoned” married folks like me!  I think providing this resource for couples is such a wonderful thing – especially in a world where we are usually so focused on the wedding day itself and not the marriage.

I am especially excited to share that Lauren will be guest blogging on The Stylish Planner for the next 5 weeks!   Next Wednesday, she will share with you a great post on companionship and January 19 – February 9th, she write a 4 part series on dating your spouse.  Lauren and I talked about this late last year and deliberately held off on sharing this with readers so that we could provide it just in time for Valentine’s Day.  This May, my sweet hubby and I will celebrate 14 years of marriage, and one thing we have definitely let slide is our dating life, so I am really looking forward to this series from Lauren.  I hope you will check in on the blog to read this great series.  In the meantime, check out Lauren’s style profile, get to know her a bit and follow her on Twitter: @theLaurenKelly!

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When my husband James and I were married, we had an 8 year relationship under our belts.  I married a man that I knew and knew well and I can say he felt the same about me.  But, what we didn’t know yet was what it meant to be a companion.  As we dove into the “married couple” community I found that we were not the only ones who had to learn this craft.

Through trial and error, and a few fights about the dishes piled in the sink, I learned that James was most responsive and in tune to my needs and wants when I showed my concern about his rather than when I gave reminders or correction.  Essentially, by taking on an attitude of servant-hood towards the things that build him up, I was encouraging him to do the same for me.  This has had an amazing effect on the way we feel at home and the way we feel about one another.

Wanting a companion is one thing but wanting to be one requires a completely different mentality.  Please be clear in knowing you cannot have companionship with your spouse unless you are willing to do everything you can to be the best companion to them.  Focusing on filling up your spouse and being intentional in your actions will create an environment that encourages desire to reciprocate.  It’s not easy to constantly pour into someone if you are running on empty but if you try this, even for one week, I think you will see an extreme difference in the attitude of your spouse and yourself.

Here are a few keys to help get you started.

1.  Creating an environment in your home and your heart that makes your spouse feel welcome is vital.  Without establishing openness from the beginning, you are closing yourself off to receiving love in the way your spouse is trying to give it

2.  Write out 5 descriptive words that express how you want your spouse to feel.  Loved, cared for, treasured, happy, joyful, important, etc.  Carry that list with you and measure your actions toward your mate up against those words.  If they don’t measure up, readjust your approach.  This will keep your heart in check and help you make sure everything you do is out of love.

3.  Everyone loves to be spoiled.  Going the extra step to show appreciation to your spouse in both action and words will return to you ten-fold.  Some examples: if you are the first to leave the house, leave a note for your man on the mirror, or the next time you are out and at the store, grab a bag of his favorite candy and place it somewhere for him to find.

** I feel like I need to add in here that not everyone gives or receives love in the same way.  Ask gentle questions of your spouse such as: “What is your favorite date we have been on?” or “Do you like it when I come see you at your office?”  This will guide you to what things make your spouse feel most appreciated.  I also recommend Gary Chapman’s Book The Five Love Languages to give more insight into giving and receiving love. **

4.  When dealing with any negative experiences or situations that need to be resolved, first share with your spouse three things you appreciate or love about them.  Be as specific as possible so as to let them know that your disappointment is not about them as a person – merely about the situation.

5.  We’ve all heard this since grade school but it’s worth repeating: Think before you speak.  Truly filter your words through love.  Once things are said they cannot be taken back.  In moments of anger, frustration, or hurt, take the opportunity to grow in your own character rather than reacting out of emotion.  Make sure the things you pour into your spouse you would want to receive back from them.

Now, let’s get real for a minute, do not go to your spouse and say, “hey, I think you’ve been a crummy companion so I’m going to try some new things this week to make you better at it.” Bad.  No.  Not ok.  Part of serving is humbling yourself and not expecting recognition or return for your deeds.  Adjust your attitude and perform the tasks listed above out of a desire to be the best spouse you can be.  How your mate reacts is solely on them.

Nurture your relationship this week.  Offer encouragement and recognize where the scale tips into balance.  Companionship, consistency and compassion go hand in hand so work to have them play equals roles in your actions and you will undoubtedly feel deeper fulfillment in both yourself and your relationships.

I definitely do not need another wrist watch right now.  I have more than enough – a gold one, a silver one, one with a black leather band, etc.  But if I won the lottery anytime soon, this would be at the top of my list.  Fossil makes a great quality watch and they have a wonderful variety of styles.  This one is dressy enough with the mother of pearl and rhinestone band to wear at weddings and other dressy occasions.

If you need me, I’ll be in the lottery line at the convenience store…

Fossil White Glitz Ceramic Watch – $125

Note from Jeannine:  You guys are in for a real treat today!  I absolutely adore Lauren’s blog, Love, Milk & Honey and if you aren’t reading it, you definitely should be.  It is a wonderful online community for nearlylwed and newlyweds – or even “seasoned” married folks like me!  I think providing this resource for couples is such a wonderful thing – especially in a world where we are usually so focused on the wedding day itself and not the marriage.  Lauren is sharp as a tack – it has been my pleasure to watch this young gal grow her business and live out her passions. 

I am especially excited to share that Lauren will be guest blogging on The Stylish Planner for the next 5 weeks!   Next Wednesday, she will share with you a great post on companionship and January 19 – February 9th, she write a 4 part series on dating your spouse.  Lauren and I talked about this late last year and deliberately held off on sharing this with readers so that we could provide it just in time for Valentine’s Day.  This May, my sweet hubby and I will celebrate 14 years of marriage, and one thing we have definitely let slide is our dating life, so I am really looking forward to this series from Lauren.  I hope you will check in on the blog to read Lauren’s post next week and the subsequent 4 part series.  In the meantime, check out Lauren’s style profile, get to know her a bit and follow her on Twitter: @theLaurenKelly!

There are a lot of conferences happening for wedding and event professionals in 2011.  It can be a difficult decision to decide which ones to attend, especially at a time when we are still cautiously optimistic about the future economy.  I’ve seen several vendors on facebook and twitter debating where to go and more importantly, where to invest those professional development dollars.  I would love to share with you why I believe that Eventology, the Science of a Wedding business would be a great investment for you.

Disclaimer:  I am actually a guest speaker for Eventology 2011, so of course I would love for you to be there!  Honestly, however, I was planning on attending long before I was asked to be a speaker.  It has become an annual retreat for me, as I have attended the last two Eventology conferences, the first of which was held in April, 2009.

In 2009, I had no idea what to expect.  I was extremely nervous.  I had just activated a Twitter account and was still learning my way around that.  I would be networking outside of the Atlanta wedding market – meeting amazing planners from across the country whose work I had admired on wedding blogs and in magazines.  It seemed very surreal to me at the time.  In a wonderful turn of events, I got to bunk with my sweet friend, Lara Casey, and via Twitter, several of us planners made arrangements to meet in the Indianapolis airport and carpool together to the Omni Severin Hotel.  I was completely giddy to be attending, and the conference definitely did not disappoint.  I made lasting friendships at the first Eventology.  The presentations and camaraderie over those two days truly catapulted my creativity and sparked ideas that ultimately took my business to another level.  Because of the relationships formed and my desire to continue interaction with new friends, the first seeds for The Stylish Planner were sown at Eventology 2009.  I even got my very first tattoo there!

At Eventology 10, I had just launched The Stylish Planner in November of 2009 and things were going great.  I knew I would attend E10, and began to think of ways to promote the blog without taking away from the other speakers or the content.  Ultimately, I became a sponsor and gifted all attendees a cute luggage tag.  Simple but effective, and I saw a direct increase in blog traffic after the conference!  While things were going great with The Stylish Planner, I couldn’t say the same for my planning business, FAVOR Events.  2010 was looking very slow, so I had decided to use the down time to re-evaluate and re-structure, but I wasn’t sure what to do or where to begin.  I am so grateful that Harmony Walton presented on Branding Success at E10 – I saw right away that I needed to fine tune some things and that my website needed an overhaul.  Terrica Skaggs presented on using technology tools to help you work smarter, not harder and I have since implemented so many of her recommendations (with a few still to go!).  I always learn something profound when Saundra Hadley talks about sales techniques and pricing, and soon after E10, I re-evaluated my pricing structure and made adjustments.  Sasha Souza blew me away with her knowledge of wedding and event design and I so appreciated that she shared tips and tools so openly with everyone.  Lastly, hearing Lara Casey talk about building a team made me see so many things I had done wrong with my staff in the past.  I made a decision right then and there to work alone for a time and only keep staff for assisting on the day of a wedding.

From my personal photos – Eventology 2010

In a nutshell, at both conferences, I have learned things that either caused me to change my business altogether, or that confirmed decisions I was already leaning towards. I always return home from Eventology with a clarity about my business that I don’t always have from day to day, and I walk into those changes or decisions with complete confidence.

Here are a few things that I believe make Eventology unique from other conferences:

• At Eventology, attendance is limited and it has SOLD OUT both years.  The intimate feeling of the conference allows you to meet almost everyone and make lasting connections.
• Eventology is chock full of content, but not rushed.  There is no rushing across a crowded trade show floor to get to your next session.
• Katasha Butler and her staff pay great attention to detail.  There are enough seats for everyone, your check-in time will only take a few moments, and there are adequate breaks throughout the day.  Attendees are well taken care of at Eventology.
• There is sufficient down time.  You will have the opportunity to network with others beyond the usual session breaks.  There is an official welcome reception & cocktail time, you can gather with old or new friends for dinner or drinks each evening, share a ride to and from the airport, work out together in the gym, hang out in the lobby bar, etc.
• The vibe is amazing.  There is such great energy when creative people who are passionate about their work gather under one roof.  You will return home with that feeling and it will carry you on bad days, trust me.
• The swag is unbelievable and there are no salespeople monopolizing your time in between sessions.
• There is a GREAT mall directly attached to the Omni Severin Hotel. Holla!

I am so honored to be counted among the speakers for Eventology 2011.  I’ll be presenting The Style Plan, which is a great workshop I developed to help wedding professionals evaluate their image and business collateral, maximizing those key elements of your brand to reach your target market.  The other speakers are stellar and will present the following topics for you:

Saundra Hadley – Fearless Negotiation Skills
NaShara Mitchell of LawGLOSS:  Contracts and Agreements
Ali Phillips – Make It Personal:  Cultivating and Maximizing Vendor Relationships
Michelle Loretta – Accounting for Creatives {Not Creative Accounting!}
Linnyette Richardson-Hall – CONFIDENCE:  How to Get What You Want and What You Need in the Wedding Industry

When: April 11-12, 2011

Where: Indianapolis, Indiana at the Omni Severin Hotel

Cost: $430 Early-Bird; $480 after

Eventology registration is open now and early bird pricing is in effect until January 20, 2011.  This year, payment plans are available – see details on the registration page here.   If you have any questions at all about Eventology 2011, please feel free to email me at info@thestylishplanner.com.  I’m sure I will write some additional posts about the conference before April, so watch the blog and follow me on Twitter @StylishPlanner.  I really hope to see you there this year!

Amy Lynn Larwig is a professional Make Up Artist out of Nashville, Tennessee.  She is a very savvy and approachable professional and I am so pleased she will be contributing bi-monthly posts on all things beauty.  Enjoy her contributions to the blog, check out her crazy good website at www.amylynnlarwig.com  and follow her on Twitter:  @amylynnlarwig.

Photo by: Kristyn Hogan

Winter time skin can quickly become dry and dull. There is a super easy solution to keep your skin looking bright and soft throughout the cold weather. Exfoliate and moisturize. Easy as that! Exfoliating twice per week helps all that flaky skin slough off, leaving the new bright skin showing. It keeps pores decongested, so they can breathe freely without all that junk in them. For your body, there are scrubs with larger particles to really get the rough spots feeling super smooth. Try Aveda Caribbean Therapy Body Scrub. You can also use a sea sponge or loofah in the shower to work the dead skin off. For your face, you want something much gentler. I like Origins Modern Friction. But you don’t have to buy an expensive exfoliator. Just add baking soda to your regular cleanser. It adds just enough grit to buff the ugly right out!

Anytime you exfoliate, make sure to lather on the moisturizer to protect and nourish that new skin. For the body, I love Tantra Body Butter by Saje. It has such a sexy scent, and it’s totally natural. Burt’s Bees Shea Butter Hand Repair is also a great moisturizer for hands, but I use it on my legs after a shave for extra creamy moisture. For the face, choose a moisturizer that isn’t too heavy, unless your skin is extra dry. Origins has a variety to try out to meet your specific needs.

You can also protect your skin during the winter by wearing scarves and gloves. Make sure your shower water isn’t too hot, as it can strip your skin. And keep hydrated on the inside by drinking plenty of water.